Black Hayate's Death
by Fluorescens
Summary: What happens when Black Hayate dies? Roy X Riza oneshot with a little Havoc X Riza! Canon is thrown out from the window again!


Hi all! I wrote another FMA ficlet:D

I had originally intended this to be angsty, romantic, painful... but somehow, it evolved into this. :P And I really did not want to kill Black Hayate, since he's so cute... so pls forgive me! Yurushite kudasai!

Written for **Parsnip** (again), because she is the Director of Plot-Bunnies Breeding Programmes in my Company.

* * *

Riza stared at the small tombstone numbly as it started to drizzle. Havoc, Fuery and Breda stood silently behind her and wondered whether she would be alright. 

"First Lieutenant..." Fuery, who was always kind and sweet voiced his concerns first, and tried hard not to tear. Breda's lips thinned a little even though he was inwardly glad and relieved. Havoc merely exhaled a ring of smoke and stubbed the cigarette with his well-worn right boot. He knew that Riza was upset about its death, even though her face remained expressionless and had fiercely rejected all of their requests to get her another dog.

"Black Hayate... we'll all miss him," Fuery sniffed and Breda patted lightly on his back. Havoc lighted another cigarette, and wondered where the Colonel was.

Riza nodded her head stiffly, gave a last salute to her dead companion and placed a large chicken bone on the freshly dug grave. She still could not really believe that Black Hayate was dead. Just the day before, she had given him a bath and played with him for an hour before she retired to the bed. The memories were still so fresh and new in her mind that she thought she'd heard his playful bark somewhere behind the hill where he was buried.

"First Lieutenant," Havoc opened an umbrella and stood beside her. She was so small, so slender and so rigid beside his tall, lanky frame that he wondered to himself again whether she would accept his date if he asked. He had thought much about Riza, since she was an attractive woman, without the guns, without the deadly accuracy and without the stern, firm attitude that governed the rest of them like ducklings. He had almost given up hope in finding a girlfriend since all the women he was once attracted to were smitten with Roy.

He knew that Riza liked Roy, but Roy did not seem to be interested in her, so...

Havoc sighed mentally and made his way back to the car wordlessly while Riza tucked her hands into her jackets. Fuery and Breda were already far ahead of them since the rain had gotten much heavier and no one brought an umbrella, save Havoc who had thought that the skies looked too dark. He was always well-prepared, never wanting to be caught in a difficult or sticky situation, and that was the similarity that he shared with Roy.

He thought that perhaps this would be a good time to ask her, since he was alone with her and the Colonel was not around. Maybe...

"First Lieutenant?"

Riza did not stop in her tracks and neither did she looked up, "Yes?"

"How about drinks tonight?" Havoc silently complimented himself because his voice was steady and he did not stutter.

She did not seem to take notice and nodded her head wearily; she was a little disappointed at Roy's absence and she did not really want to go home since Black Hayate was no longer there to greet her with his usual cheerful, over-enthusiastic bark. Havoc was a quiet guy and she speculated that his company would somewhat be soothing and comfortable

_Actually, any company would be good_, she corrected herself and looked to him, "Okay, same time same place."

Havoc leaped in joy within his heart and thought that perhaps this time round, he might be able to snag a woman before he loses it to Roy. He smiled to himself and replied, "Ah."

* * *

"Er, Riza?" Havoc eyed the casually dressed woman beside him carefully. Her head was resting on her propped up elbow and she was jiggling the glass of vodka with the other hand as she watched the ice-cubes knock against each other. 

"A bone! Such a small bone..." Riza mumbled as she took another swig from the tinted glass.

Havoc thought that she looked a little drunk, and was surprised that she actually could not hold her liquor very well. She had only downed three small glasses and her cheeks were already flushed. Riza was such a strict and regimental woman that he never really thought that she would agree to come down to the bar. And even though he sometimes treated her as a _man,_ he still thought that the way she threatened Roy, the way she whipped out her guns, her brilliant shooting skills and her no-nonsense attitude was alluring, sexy and deadly at the same time.

Riza was a rare, exotic feminine creature in her own unique way; Havoc decided that must be the reason as to why he started liking her a few months ago when he accidentally caught sight of her doing grocery shopping in civilian clothings. How and why he had come to that conclusion totally eluded him, but it was no big thing.

_Love is blind,_ Havoc smiled and placed his calloused hand on her shoulders gently, "Riza? You should stop."

"And he choked on that bone, damnit!" Riza slammed the glass of vodka on the table; and he thanked God that it did not shatter.

"Havoc, he choked... on such a tiiiiiiiiiny bone, you know that? I feel so awful, I'm responsible for his death... My bad, my fault..." Riza poured the rest of the burning vodka down her throat and yelled, "One more!"

Havoc's eyes widened, he was not sure where she stayed and where her keys were, since Riza was definitely drunk by now.

"Riza... let's go home, I'll put you to bed," Havoc frowned a little and tried to heave her up. Thankfully, she did not push him away nor yell into his ears. The First Lieutenant obediently got to her feet and started to sway a little when she tried to walk. He swiftly caught her by her arms and lifted her up against his chest. Surprisingly, she was not as heavy as he had thought (since he had tried to imagine how her body looked like under those thick uniform) and when she looked up to him, his heart almost skipped a beat.

Her auburn eyes were wet, her cheeks were flushed, her hair was loose and messy, and her lips were so red and so dry that the temptation to seal her lips with his was so great that it made his head spin a little.

"Havoc, I.. I..." She mumbled, and promptly vomited all over him after she shut her eyes.

The Second Lieutenant stared at the creamy contents all over his black shirt, half-mortified that Riza, his superior had done that to him and half-stunned that she still held on to him as she emptied her stomach. Did she think that he was a basin or toilet-bowl?

_Love IS blind,_ Havoc told himself a second time as he sat her down on the chair, yanked tissues off a nearby box, wiped the vomit off his shirt as much as possible, took it off when he decided that he could not wear that again, coaxed her off the fourth glass of cheap vodka, paid for the drinks, slung her over his right shoulder and walked to the door.

Havoc certainly did not expect to see his Colonel there when he kicked open the front door. A pair of shining black eyes narrowed at him and at the half-conscious her, and Havoc felt all the three reactions when everyone faced danger; flee, fright and fight.

"Colonel!" Havoc could not salute and stomped on his right foot instead.

"What are you doing?" Roy's lips thinned, and Havoc thought that looked... predatory. He gulped and replied, "First Lieutenant and I were having drinks, she got drunk and vomited all over my shirt. So I decided to bring her home and because she can't walk-"

Roy lifted up a hand, effectively silencing his soldier and frowned a little. He had come down to the pub since Fuery had told him that Havoc and Riza were there drinking, and he had wanted to see her, even though he was not sure how he was going to explain his absence at her dog's funeral.

But he certainly did not expect Riza to get drunk, or Havoc carrying her _so_ intimately in his half-naked state.

"So do you know where she lives?" Roy asked stiffly.

Havoc shook his head, inwardly lamenting on his luck on why they had to bump into the Colonel at this time. This time!

Roy hid his smirk and commanded, "Hand her over to me. I will bring her home."

"Sir, do you know where she lives...?" Havoc wondered whether Riza had brought Roy home before?

"I have her casefile idiot! Of course I know where she stays!" Roy frowned hard and glared. Havoc kept quiet and as Riza was snuggled warm and comfy against Roy, he asked again.

"Do you need my help, Colonel?"

Roy shot him a positively venomous look and turned on his feet, "No. Go home and have a good rest. I will send the First Lieutenant home."

Havoc nodded his head like a dog, and cursed under his breath. He could only hope that the perverted Colonel would not take advantage of Riza.

"I lost, again," the Second Lieutenant sighed out loud to himself.

* * *

Roy fumbled with the key that he had fished out from her breast-pocket. He tried not to think about how soft, how warm and how firm her breasts were and opened the door. 

"Riza! We're home!" The Colonel let out a heavy breath and half-dumped her on the single, tidy white bed. He closed the door, took a look around and noticed that her small house was so her; clean, neat, ordered and... simple.

Roy pulled a chair beside her bed and sat on it, because he was half worn-out from carrying her and half wanting to see whether she needed help or not. Of course the second reason was an excuse, since the sniper seemed to be sleeping soundly on her bed without a care in the world.

The Colonel folded his arms, leaned back on the chair and sighed, for many unspoken and not-yet-thought-out reasons. He was a person who did not like to think or over-analyze unless it was important or he was forced to, so he settled for watching her instead and giving himself a...

_Small break_. Roy smiled at his own intelligence and excuse-generating abilities.

Riza was dressed in a simple long-sleeved white shirt and jeans, and even though she was pretty well-covered up, he could see her figure hiding underneath the not-so-tight clothes. His eyes followed the contours of her body; from her not-so-long but well-toned legs, to her firm and flat belly, to her round breasts that felt so bouncy under his hand just now, and to the delicate arch of her neck that she was showing blatantly to him, with her face away from him and several locks of her blonde hair framing her fair skin.

Roy thought that she would be dead meat if he was a vampire, but of course he knew that vampires did not exist (Gluttony did not really belong to that category). Still, long slender necks were something that he liked very much. He loved to brush his lips across the soft skin over their necks, right under their jaws, beneath their ears, on their collarbones, knowing well that it made them squirm and desire more of him.

The Colonel licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed. Riza was his First Lieutenant, and their relationship was strictly open and military-based. No, he would not see her in that way, she was a sniper, she was dangerous, he could have other women-

"Nnggg..."

Her moan almost broke his steel wall of control and he jerked up, "What?"

Riza turned around to face him, with her eyes still shut, her lips and cheeks still red, "Hayate..."

Roy tried to avert his eyes from the cleavage that was screaming right before his eyes. He tried not to think about the fairer skin there, tried not to think about the white bra that she was wearing beneath the white shirt, tried not to think of her slightly parted lips, tried not to think about _that_ irritating lock of pale hair that was now tucked in between her breasts-

"Have you eaten...?" Riza sleep-talked again.

Roy nodded, yet he still felt hungry, for something else entirely.

He turned to Plan B and switched his thoughts. He tried to think about Riza barking at him, tried to think about the solemn, serious expression on her face when she was loading her guns, tried to think about the stiff and rigid stance that she always took when she walked beside him, tried to think about her in the bulky, ugly military uniform-

"Roy..."

Something snapped. The Colonel was not sure what it was.

Roy removed his gloves, flung them to one side, sat on her bed, pulled out the lock of hair that was resting dangerously in between her, er, _chest_, he reminded himself and placed a very chaste and brief kiss on her forehead. For unknown reasons, Riza suddenly sat up right and Roy instantly moved back, lest he had to answer for a blue-black bruise on his forehead the next morning.

"Roy!" Riza's eyes were wide open, but they were not shocked, surprised, or angry.

His eyes moved down; he could now see half of her plain white bra and understood what had snapped. Her button.

"Riza?" His eyes were still fixed on her creamy assets, and he tried hard not to salivate. They looked so good and so inviting...

"Why are you here?" She asked, her eyes big and beguiling on his face. Was she dreaming? Why was Roy in her house? Why did she feel that something was amiss and not right? But the thoughts did not connect in her mind and her head spun when she thought she saw Black Hayate staring back at her.

"I, er... " Roy really tried to finish his sentence, but his mind was full of naughty ideas and images that he could do with his First Lieutenant and mumbled something intelligible. Riza cocked her head to one side, because it felt heavy. In fact, her eyelids, her body and her neck felt heavy and stiff.

Both did not really know what happened later, because it was all within an instant and Roy found himself holding onto her, with her half-exposed _chest_ pressed against his military jacket. He decided that he would burn the damned jacket later in his private yard. Riza found herself staring at his half-opened mouth and instantly pried open his mouth with her fingers as she peered into the dark cavern.

The Flame Alchemist gaped; _whatever was she doing!_

"No bone! No bone! I can't see any bone inside!" Riza cried out loud.

Roy rolled his eyes; he was **_NOT_** Black Hayate! He was a dog of the military, but not a real dog in that sense! Feeling a little incensed and hurt, he jammed his mouth over hers and kissed her as hard he could. The subconscious Riza swiftly wrapped her limbs around her boss and pushed herself against him.

Roy was stunned at her reaction, and wished that she would take off his clothes for him. But she did not, and he was frustrated.

He pulled away for the much needed oxygen and stared hard at her closed eyes, smiling face and pretty skin. He needed to get out from her room, quick, fast, at lightning speed before the zipper on his trousers burst open (which would set a record for him anyway) when Riza pounced on him like a tigress.

For a moment, he could not breathe as Riza hugged him like a gigantic teddy bear. He squirmed a little, she adjusted.

The end-result was that he was locked dead by her strong arms, and his face was buried right in her, er, _chest_.

"Alright! Breasts, your breasts!" Roy groaned and stuck out a tongue to lick at the valley. Her skin tasted unbelievably sweet, and he tried to get more of it, to no avail. His uncomfortable, covered erection was right beneath her sex and he didn't know whether he should feel lucky, blessed, or simply wretched. Somehow, somewhat, he managed to fall asleep under her iron grip, and he dreamt of luscious fair breasts, burning, bright hot fire, military jackets and Riza's pale hair all over his chest.

When the First Lieutenant woke up the next day, with the Colonel half-drooling beside her, and she in an indecent state, she kicked him off her bed, whipped out the gun from her bedside drawer, pointed it at his temple and pulled the trigger (which promptly woke him up).

"Colonel, what is the meaning of this?"

Roy stared dazedly at her half-uncovered breasts and replied, "I'm was Black Hayate for last night."


End file.
